Tuesday, May 22, 2012

NASCAR Twitter Inanimate Objects Preview - Coke 600

 I can not believe that @CMS_Watertower has solar powered pumps for his water distribution and cooling pumps. Waterman that is SO green of you. Wait a minute, you dont have any solar panels. Ugh, WT you got me with that one you silly tower you! Stay cool, bud!

@CarlEdwrdsteeth is alive and well after that dilemma in the All Star race. Teeth told Carl, "listen dude, you mighta wanted to run up to the SPEED broadcast booth, but when the  car is on fire, keep your mouth closed until they mic you up, you aint got no silver fillings and the other ones aint fire proof".

@TheNascarGarage has told us he's so excited to see all the patriotic red, white and blue paint schemes this weekend he could just, well you know, he's excited.

 @TheCatchFence had a really bad week with the NATO Summit up in Chicago. Fence says with all the signal jamming going on his chain links were rattling out of control, and his fence posts were vibrating worse than Danica Patrick's seat at Talladega. Well Fence, if you ever get in her  car hope the smell in there is better than the smell of the protesters in ChiTown. 

 Um, Hello@TheMiniChad what are you up to, you say you're hangin with some Indy Car dude but this looks like you've been hangin with  @Kristen_Beat horse back ridin on the plantation. Where'd ya get the mini-saddle, huh? How about you get your mini butt back to NASCAR, huh!
@The_GreenFlag has made #DaleJr fans real happy this week with his announcement about the finish of the Coke 600. Seems ol' Greeny has told NASCAR and Flag Union officials he will not wave, even under GWC conditions, until #DaleJr is leading the race. WOW, GF good call, but Jr will be there on the final lap any way so don't get your furls all in an uproar.

@NASCAR_EFI hung out in Charlotte all week in preparation for the 600. he says no worries about the endurance of his Throttle Body family. Effy said he was just so happy to get over to Hendrick's grand opening and brought along his Dad, Rochester Injection. Rochester said he would have worked with Hendrick a long time ago, but he retired in 1958.

@FlagofCaution says he's all set for the Coke 600, hopes the flag man is also. Caution says he doesnt expect to be as busy as he was back in May of 2005 with those 22 waves he gave, unless, well as he put it, "those damn Roush Fords that are all painted alike start to give me fits, those boys better keep it clean, how the hell do I know who to wave at, thanks a lot Fastenal".

@acheckeredflag talked to me this week about how to get some of Jimmie Johnson's $1million winnings, says he really worked hard waving all the time in the AllStar race. Um, Chex, ever heard the joke about a dog that killed the wife and mother-in-law, like the punch line says, get in line waiting for that one.

Apparently, @Dennyhamlin didnt take @TheOrangeCone's advice on using sun screen if you're going to be outside in the direct sun all day. Coney said he did like Denny's new look tho! Turns out Denny had the ESPN boys use their makeup magic to fool us all! 

@48Horseshoe Says he will stay up JJ's posterior as long as he possibly can. Shoes says 2 wins in a row gives the whole team a lot of confidence heading in to the Coke 600,not just him and his partner @48JockStrap

So, the @TheMini_Jimmie is in Bermuda this week, huh? Hearing there's a few dollars missing from the $1million dollar All Star winning's bank account also. MJ, didn't I try to explain to you the deal with #DineAndSign. I'll fax you Mr. H's signature one last time, dont lose it this time, man! Oh, and get your cardboard ass back here for the 600, heard they need you to sweep or something. By the way, Dont Go Near the Water. 

@DebriInTurn4 Two words for you Deb, NICE VACATION, step it up pal, your job is to be on track y'know. Debris has been no where to be seen and we're hearing he's put on a lot of weight. Maybe he should check that weight loss website on Twitter that has hacked everyone's account!

@TheNASCARHauler is one lucky truck this week. He got to deliver the 2013 Nascar Toyota Cup car to Charlotte this week for the unveiling.  So, c'mon Hauler, give us a hint, when are we going to see this new hot rod 2013 Chevy SS Performance that's going to race in Sprint Cup?

One time shout out to the @NASCARtoilet, but in all honesty dude, you are stinkin up the show as they say. Have you ever heard of Pilot Travel Centers, get a shower or have a Nascar official throw a box of TIDE in you. Its not so much the smell, but the burning in my eyes, and Jake says your peeing thing is a lil too high for a 4 year old!

- Compiled from Twitter

1 comment:

  1. I didn't realize there were that many inanimate objects. I did know about some-did you not get to talk to Jr's Beard or Brad K's phone? Enjoyed your interviews.