Tuesday, May 15, 2012

NASCAR Twitter Inanimate Objects All Star Preview


@CarlEdwrdsteeth says he's not looking forward to the All Star race. Teeth says when Carl won the All Star last year, he hit a sewer cover in the infield and not only tore up a good race car, but then, his Teeth were rattling louder than 2 skeletons having sex on a tin roof.

@RtFrontFender told me this week he gets offended some times and never gets any respect. In fact he specifically said, "I go from a track where they can't help but use me up, to a track where they don't care if they use me up."  Hmm, sorry Double F, but thats the life of a fender, ya know!

@TheNascarGarage says this new Roush Fenway sponsor isn't so tough to figure out. Garage says a third of the time, if you find four crew chiefs by him, you'll always find a fifth, you can bank on it. Wait, was NG talking about Kenseth's old sponsor, Crown Royal?

 @CMS_Watertower says he is stocked up and ready to go for two straight weeks. Tower stressed that Nascar better not even think about moving the All Star race to any other track, like they did in 1986 moving the race to Atlanta. Pretty sure your good to go WT.

After hearing about the Kurt Bush incident with Newman and the resulting fines and probation, @TheCatchFence said he's just glad it didn't happen near him on the track. Fence says its bad enough endangering guys on pit road, but says you have no idea how hard it is to straighten out galvanized chain kink after a wreck to look pretty for the next race. 

In a very stunning move by ABC@TheMiniChad is an eligible gentle object on this seasons show, The Bachelorette. However, his comment "I feel being engaged is something special, and should be saved for the person you marry", got immediate negative reactions from fans and, um, whats the girls name again, Emily something, I think. You better stick to Danica Patrick Coca-Cola cutouts MC! 

@TheNASCARHauler  says he doesnt expect to be very busy for the All Star race, after all its a non-points event and "boys have at it" is in full effect. Hauler suggests that all drivers try to play nice though, because after last weeks tirade by a certain #51 driver, NH says his area had to be sprayed with Lysol and Listerine due to all the potty mouth remarks that were flying around. Don't worry NH, heard the #51 has a sponsor this week, Certs Breath Mints!

@In_CarCamera says he already knows who the fan vote winner will be for the All Star race because he's already had a fitting for his swivel, and says everyone is going to be REAL surprised at who it's going to be. C'mon Cam, give us a hint. What?, the driver has a different sponsor this week and its his initial sponsor?

As if @NASCAR_EFI wasnt busy enough after Darlington, he wore out his throttle actuator trying to call in to Wind Tunnel on Sunday night for nearly an hour. Because of that Effy says he may have a more deep, throaty sound coming out of the header pipes at Charlotte. Effy says to look for a more blue colored flame from the headers also, because he'll be using a new Hall's Refreshing Mint throttle lozenge this week to help with the problem.

@The_GreenFlag informed us this week, he will be hosting the final episode of Survivor at Charlotte Motor Speedway. Who knew, we all thought it was last Sunday. Greeny says he plans to start off the festivities with the All Star Challenge and a field of contestants that will make Jeff Probst look like a Boy Scout trying to sell cookies.

@FlagofCaution says he's heard rumors that Ryan Newman and Joey Logano have both been told to be on the lookout for new rides in 2013. Flag says he hopes they stay racing because, "those two guys are always in a dust up on track, heck, they sure keep me busy, especially that Logano kid. By the way is he still pals with Harvick?"

@acheckeredflag is excited as a flag in spray starch this week. Sounds like he'll fly 6 times Saturday night. Once in the Showdown segment, 4 times in the first four 20 laps segments of the All Star race and finally, after the final pit strategy, for the winner, Dale Jr.  Oops, sorry Flag, I know I wasnt supposed to give that secret away, damn!

@TheOrangeCone has insisted he will not be in red, white and blue for the All-Star race this weekend. However, after nearly getting the #asskickingofalifetime from Danica coming on to pit road at Darlington, Coney says we may see a bit of black and blue on his exterior. Hearing Danica never did show up for Cone's post race hot tub event.

Hearing  @48Horseshoe will not be included in any Team Hendrick celebrations, including the 200th Win Party, until he removes his gold deposits from Fifth Third Bank and closes his account. Luckily, Shoe is in Charlotte all week for the All Star gala and will be able to make the necessary transfers. Wonder what the problem was with the bank? Oh well, nice to see the Shoe getting a win again, congrats! 

@TheMini_Jimmie says he's glad the 16 race Mini drought of no wins is finally over and fans can really concentrate on how many races it's been since Jr has won a race. Well, hate to tell you this MJ but they've been doing just that for 140 races and counting now!

@The_RollBack will have a different look for the All Star race, he had his body man pin stripe those creepy looking eye brows that ladies have across the top of his head light panels, sheesh. Roller Boy is very happy though with the new rules regarding side skirt panels on the race cars, says its "pretty sexy when the cars hoist their skirt and show a little frame!"

@TheFuelCan says he and his gang are all set for the All Star race. However, he is not happy with the recent #51 and #39 team penalties. Not because Andrew Rueger tossed him to the gound, or because he got dented, or because his feelings were extremely hurt, but because he didnt even get a shout out in the NASCAR Media press release about the whole situation! Really Fuelie, really?

@DebriInTurn4 says he hopes to be out a LOT at CMS and says with the new higher side skirt rule and less down force on the back end of the cars, expect to see a lot of spoiler parts and inner wheel wells flying out starting this week. Have fun Deb!

Last but not least there's @DaleJr_Beard  Not sure if he'll be around this week, but ol' Jr is lookin a little scruffy lately, we'll have to watch the Media feed on Friday! What do ya think Beardy, a little out growth for the All Star?

- Compiled from Twitter

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