Wednesday, April 25, 2012

NASCAR Twitter InAnimate Objects Preview- Richmond

 @DebriInTurn4 says he doesn't even remember last Septembers race at Richmond. Well, that's because he never even showed up at the track, slacker! All 15 cautions during last Septembers race were brought out by accidents or spins on track. Now Deb, if you want to get another shout out, you have to show up at Richmond,,at least once, OK!

@TheMini_Jimmie may not be in Richmond this week. MJ recently made a move in to a new card board box house and his wife, the well known Mattel "Barbie", had a honey-do list for Mini that would stretch around Richmond's 0.75 mile oval. Hey, MJ, take a break and get NASCAR Barbie dressed up and to the track!

@TheNascarGarage is not at all happy. Says he's not getting paid overtime by @DennyHamlin for being opened during the Short Track Showdown Thursday night at Richmond. NG says discussions are ongoing and he may have to call in his union rep to settle the dispute. He also says he'll give in if @AmberAngelaCope are brought in just to keep him company. He's a sucker for blondes!

Heard @The_BlackFlag was not a popular guy with the Hendrick gang down in Kansas last weekend. Rumor has it Jeff Gordon told ole Blacky if he ever flew that early again, especially while a Hendrick car was driving faster than Reutimann, Black would be soaked in one of Bobby Labonte's sponsors. I assume he meant Clorox,,or possibly Busch's Beans?

@TheCatchFence is one happy linkster. Fence says when Bruton Smith said he was decreasing the banking and basically lowering the Bristol track away from him by even just a few inches, he broke down and cried tears of joy. He says he'll feel a lot safer now at Bristol, but also adds that Bruton never even consulted him or asked for his opinion. Fence will have a special highly reflective galvanized finish this week that has been applied by his new sponsor, U.S.Wire Cloth LLC.

@TheMiniChad was at the Bristol news conference this week. Mini was over heard saying over and over, "grinding, cutting, lowering,, LEVIGATING, damn, why didn't I think of that with those damn C-pillars."  Then MC was heard talking to Maxi Chad on his cell phone saying, "Well, what the hell does LEVIGATING even mean?"

In a surprising move @TheNASCARHauler has been offered two substantial long term sponsor deals. Not sure why Helton recommended Hauler decline both offers. I guess the sponsor names just didnt fit,,White Castle and The Baby's Room. Hauler's been busy hosting the negotiations concerning overtime for inanimates at Hamlin's Short Track Showdown. C'mon Denny, open up the purse strings, you got all that extra money from race wins.

@FlagofCaution says he's "Ready for some Saturday night short track racing".  Flag has been napping every afternoon to get ready for Richmond, especially after watching tape all week of the record 15 times he had to wave last September. Flag is also sporting his special neon night time yellow color for this weeks race.

 @In_CarCamera is excited to be at Richmond for the night race. Cam has announced he'll be applying a new molybdenum disulfide lubricant to his swivel mount which will allow him to swivel and turn faster than the new Secret Service agents running away from a group of prostitutes. The lube is also impervious to temperature because Cam expects Saturday to be colder than a mother in laws kiss! Brrr, Cam who's your mom in law,,Underwater Camera?

@NASCAR_EFI was being grilled by engine builders after Kansas with all the engine problems. Here's a quote from the interview transcript: "Listen, I'm Nobody, but wait, Nobody's perfect, so I must be perfect. Y'all need to go talk to Comp Cams about their guy, TheValveSpring. By the way, STP Injector Cleaner is a great idea, just not for our guys, we're brand new every week, save your money".

 @The_GreenFlag agrees with Yellow, says let's fly early and often this Saturday at Richmond. GF says he wishes the tracks would announce honorary starters earlier in the week. Says he'd like to pick out a real sexy green if its going to be a hot, young star doing the waving, or even better a nice cute military gal, says he loves women in uniform.

@acheckeredflag has flat out refused to work with Hamlin on Thursday night with out overtime pay. Chex has submitted the union contract from Teamsters Local One and a Half along with @TheOrangeCone, President of Local One and a Half. At one point Chex vehemently asked "What part of the contract don't you understand,sir,,it's all there in black and white"?  Cone quietly pointed out to Chex, "Calm down, that's your shirt hanging out a little".  Everyone chuckled and the dispute was settled.

 @48Horseshoe says he's glad Double J has a brand new chassis at Richmond, likes the "new car smell".  Shoe says it beats the heck out of the scent he's had being up you know where for a while! 

Compiled from Twitter

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