Tuesday, April 10, 2012

NASCAR Inanimate Object Texas Preview

@TheMini_Jimmie is new to the preview this week for Texas. Just be advised in advanced, I'll be monitoring your every move along with that sneaky crew chief of yours, Maxi Chad. I am pulling for you guys tho, to get #200 for my pal Rick this weekend.

@Pit_Road is also a new comer this week. Asked how he felt about going to Texas, Pit said he knows he'll be hotter than the Cope Twins on a tanning bed and is praying for a little cloud cover during the weekend. Pretty sure Amber and Angela are hot enough to keep the rain and clouds away tho, Roadie!

@TheNascarGarage has asked everyone in attendance this weekend to refrain from making comments about Amanda Beard. But of course, @CarlEdwrdsteeth has already stated he's still disgusted that he allowed her tongue to slide around his pearly whites.

@TheOrangeCone During his trip to Texas, Cone was asked if he would be participating in the Nascar Unites program at Charlotte and Daytona, and although he his highly patriotic he answered he will be required to don his traditional orange. Cone says he's trying to work a deal with Scott Riggs sponsor this week, Embassy Suites, to get a room with a hot tub. Cone will be extremely busy this weekend with an appearance at Rockingham on Sunday as well.

@In_CarCamera will be in attendance once again at Texas after a long, grueling week trying to negotiate a deal with Instagram. Unfortunately, Cam was out bid by Facebook for the app by $1 billion dollars. Cam argued he wanted to download the app free like everyone else.

@TheCatchFence Best thing about NASCAR being back this weekend,Trucks at Rockingham!,,unless you're a fence and know Trucks are going to get air borne. Fence says he's not worried, he'll be painted a nice shade of Masters green for good luck which has been applied by Bubba Watson. Bubba initially wanted to paint it General Lee orange,Gah!

@TheMiniChad After an unsuccesful attempt to caddy for Bubba Watson at the Masters, MC will be on hand at Texas in support of Maxi Chad, and his pet, @48Horseshoe. It sounds like "the Shoe" wasnt much luck in getting Mini in to the top-35 in caddy points to even contend for the position. At least Mini is happy his pal the cardboard egg crate had a succesful Easter season.

@TheNASCARHauler received an anonymous note probably from the Smoke Mafia that read, "remember that 1 time at that 1 race with that one car that you and the boys said something about an X thing or whatever, well dont even think about it". Hauler will have additional security as well as Nascar officials on hand this week, watching for any thing ssupicious, you know like determining the placement of the car's decklid in relation to the centerline of the chassis.

@DebriInTurn4 hopes to repeat last Aprils Texas performance when he appeared twice after @FlagofCaution was displayed. Flag reminded him it could have been 3 of the 5 caution periods for Debris, had it not been for Nascar giving credit to FluidOnTrack. Deb's only comment was, "what a show off that guy is all the time,,I'm just sayin". Flag cautioned Deb not to get over worked on Sunday,because he doesnt feel like working as often as the 12 times he had to fly back in November of 2006.

@NASCAR_EFI admitted he had a great Easter, found a few tiny eggs and swallowed em right down the left venturi, made the catalytic converter's exhaust smell worse than it already does. Effy says he expects no problems with the high speeds at Texas as long as his partner @TheTimingBelt doesnt act up. The Belt says that was all Reutti's doing and he's impartial to who is in the top-35.

Did you know @The_GreenFlag flew 13 times in a Cup race at Texas back in November of 2006, once to start the race and 12 times after cautions. Well, hate to remind you GF but this week has Friday the 13th coming up. You better tweet the other inanimates to try not to work too hard, especially Debris, or you're gonna need to a lot of spray starch this weekend. Oh, by the way, how about that nice Masters Jacket, huh!

Compiled from Twitter

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